Why is the divorce rate for Christians no different than that for the rest of America… or even Communistic Russia?

 It's true that the divorce rate seems about the same, 50%, among the saved and unsaved alike. The quick answer is to use the Adam-and-Eve salute and blame someone else: our hedonistic culture, high stress society, and lack of pre-marital counseling. But, let's probe deeper.

 Imagine yourself going to battle against spiritual forces with your brothers and sisters in Christ. The road is long and hard, with great uncertainty and exhaustion, but you finally make it to the battle ground. Then, you find out that most of your fellow soldiers have dropped their weapons along the way. "The road was hard!" and "The weapon was heavy!" complain your faint-hearted brethren. Yet, how can you fight a battle without a weapon?!

 First I will discuss the weapons of the brothers in Christ, then those of the sisters. These may not be the most powerful of the weapons available, but they are the most often left behind.

 Weapons of the Brothers

 The Bible says, "Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave up His life for her." This is not a burdensome command, but a weapon! You long-suffering husbands may respond:

 "But, she burns money like a fire!"

"She's unresponsive!"

"She's fat!"

"She's argumentative!"

"We just don't love each other anymore!"

 Whenever you think you have it rough, think of Hosea and his unfaithful wife Gomer. God wouldn't let him throw in the towel. He had to keep going to the slave market to buy her back from her sins of unfaithfulness.

 You are to be Christ to your mate. You are to model the longsuffering, the forgive-all love, and the selflessness of Christ. In the process, you may learn more about Christ than your mate does.

 Suppose you found yourself in heaven tonight, your work on earth unfinished. Would you be willing to come back, if your sole assignment was to love your wife into the Kingdom… or into a deeper walk with Him? Love your wife as if it were a direct commandment from God, for indeed, it is.

 One day, the Lord asked me how I would love my wife if she were "perfect." In my revelry, I was quite extravagant in the demonstration of my love. Then, the Lord said to me, "Love her that way now."

 Some of you men may be thinking about what I have said, thinking you might "try it." But, I say to you, don't try it, do it!

 Some of you scientific husbands may say to me, "I'll try it and see what happens. After all, the test of all things is in the results!" Not in the case of spiritual matters! The test of obedience is obedience! Whether you see results on this earth or not, you are doing right, and pleasing God, when you obey Him!

 Husbands, your important assignment is to make sure your wife is present and effective in the Kingdom of God. How can you do such a formidable task? With the powerful weapon of the character of Christ. What could be more attractive than Christ? And, if you put on the character of Christ, your wife will follow you anywhere.

 Okay, Brother, your wife is unresponsive. Bear your cross. Demonstrate your love in other ways. Be willing to lay down your life for her, thereby pleasing your Greater Lover, Christ. In this way, you will become much more attractive to her than you ever could as a mere man.

 Weapons of the Sisters

 The man is given a very difficult commandment, to be ready to lay down his life for his wife. The wife is given an equally hard commandment, to love, respect and obey her husband.

 I can hear the chorus of shouts already:

 "Women must throw off the shackles of male domination!" (and disobey the Lord's direct commandment in the process?!)

"If he does his part (is ready to lay down his life), I'll do mine." Service in exchange for suitable payment: This sounds more like the world's oldest profession than a Christian marriage.

"I just can't respect him." Speaking as a man, I must admit that men are hard to respect. We are a rascally lot often led around by our hormones and wandering eyes. But, if the job were easy, it would not be accompanied with a commandment. After all, God does not command you to enjoy your dessert, because that comes easy.

 When I became a Christian at age 24, one of the first Bible studies I attended had to do with servants obeying their masters (1Peter 2:18). This was applied to my work situation. The Word of God was plain, and needed no further interpretation. Yet, only half a chapter later is the most controversial and over-interpreted verse of scripture, "Wives, be submissive to your own husbands."

 Why is it so hard to let this simple verse speak for itself? I have heard this verse interpreted many ways:

 "The culture of the Early Church was a louder voice than the Holy Spirit!"

"We're supposed to submit to one another, as it says in Ephesians 5:21!"

 If these rules of interpretation are valid here, they must be valid everywhere. Can we apply the idea that culture spoke louder than God in the concepts of salvation, blood atonement, forgiveness, divinity of Christ, and return of Christ?

If each must take his turn submitting, must parents submit to their children (see Eph. 6:1-4), and bosses submit to their employees (see Eph. 6:5-9)? Indeed, bosses and parents may at times listen to suggestions and change their minds, but are they required to by Scripture?

 I'm afraid that rebellious wives place themselves into a dangerous position: In soothing their ego, their Bible may turn into a mess of pottage, robbed of its power.

 Peter commanded wives to be submissive so that their unsaved husbands "may be won without a word, by the conduct of their wives." What is more important, your pride, or your husband's salvation? Submission is a powerful weapon that you must make sure you have in hand, when you go into spiritual battle.

 Okay, Sister, your husband tramples your self esteem into the dust. Bear your cross. Love your enemy. Pick up your most powerful weapon, love, and destroy his resistance!

 A Final Word to Brothers and Sisters

 God's purpose is not to make you comfortable, but to conform you into Christ's image. We can try to place ourselves on the cross, but we use rubber nails. Let Christ place you on the Cross; He will do it right!

 When your spouse hurts your pride, say, "Thank You, Lord… I didn't know that stinking old pride was still alive. Thrust the knife in deeper, Lord, kill that pride!" Accept the tribulation of the world as lessons from the Lord, filtered through His love. Don't pray for the tribulation to end, but that God's filter may be perfect and the lesson pure. Any other attitude questions God's sovereignty and attacks your own faith.

 (I apologize for coming on so strong with this message, but the situation demands it.)

Even a driver's license requires more preparation and proof of competency!

While this is a good example of commitment, it is not a command: Unfaithfulness was cited by Jesus as basis for divorce (Matt. 5:32).

"Try it" implies a test. Who determines the passing grade for this test? Do you try it for two months, or two hours? Do you try it until you get tired, or she swears at you? "Do it," implies a commitment, come what may. Not "Do it until…", but "Do it… for the rest of your life, if need be!"

He was a carpenter, you know. And He often turns those closest to us into the sharpest nails.

It is important that you Sisters not be self-righteous. In defense of men, I must say this: If all the female souls had been born into male bodies, and vice versa for the male souls, this world would be just as wicked. It is not the wickedness of the male soul, but the burden of the male flesh. So, don't judge too harshly, and be thankful God graced you with an easy body to control.