Why isn't God answering my prayers?
Often such a question comes from a believer who has suffered great pain and disappointment for a long time. Cheap answers like "His ways are beyond our understanding" attempt to absolve the believer of any "blame", but end up portraying God as careless and distant. Callous answers like "Your faith is too small" often only serve to hurt the longsuffering believer. In this very delicate and difficult area, I believe that both types of answers hurt in the long run, and that the truth lies somewhere in between. Please bear with me as I try to break down this difficult subject into various "truths":
In God's eyes, faith is more valuable than comfort
Jesus was constantly trying to teach people to have more faith, pointing out that they were people "of little faith"
What is "faith as a grain of mustard seed"?
How can we increase our faith?
What are the limits to asking and faith?
Traditional faith killers
This is no more than the shallows before the depths of faith taught in Scripture. I do not seek to teach you all about faith, but incite you to search the Scriptures for yourself. However, be careful that you do not read God's Holy Word through the darkened glass of someone else's interpretation. I apologize that I have included much interpretation in this presentation, some of which is undoubtedly wrong. However, may your curiosity and hunger drive you to read God's Word for yourself, allowing the Teacher to explain those parts you don't understand and remove the interpretations that have hidden His precious truth.
Faith is more valuable than comfort: After coming down from the Mount of Transfiguration (Mark 9:14-29), Jesus encountered a concerned father whose son was being destroyed by demons. The father asked the disciples for help, but got none ("I spoke to Your disciples, that they should cast him out, but they could not.") The father prayed to Jesus ("Teacher, I implore You, look on my son"). Jesus' only response to that prayer was to rebuke those present for their lack of faith.
The demon, perceiving a showdown, begins to smash the boy into the ground. If one of us had been there, we would have said, "Jesus, take care of that demon!" But, instead, Jesus turned to the father and asked, rather conversationally, "How long has he been this way?"
If we had been there, we would have said, "Jesus! Forget the chit-chat. Take care of that demon, he is hurting the boy!" But, there is one thing more important to Jesus than human suffering, and that is our growth in faith: "Without faith you cannot please God" (Heb.11:6).
The father prays a slightly stronger prayer ("But, if you can do anything..." -- parallel passage, Mark 9:22). Jesus' only answer to this doubting prayer was to encourage him, "All things are possible to him that believes".
Finally, when the man's faith has advanced far enough to declare, "Lord, I believe! Help Thou my unbelief!" (parallel passage, Mark 9:24).
Through the trials of unanswered prayer, Jesus is gently teaching us. Unfortunately, we often quit our education halfway through, form a theology to justify unanswered prayer, and go on our way unfulfilled.
"Ye of little faith!": Jesus was not afraid to tell people that their faith was too small. Even Peter, the only disciple to ever walk on water, was told that his faith was too small. Many uncaring pastors have taken upon themselves this task of belittling the believer, but I would prefer to let this revelation be between the Lord and the believer. Even if it looks like I am spouting the same message as the "Ye-of-little-faith" pastors, I realize, and admit to you, how very hard it often is to "have great faith."
"Grain of mustard-seed faith": After rebuking the disciples for their lack of faith, He told them they should have "faith as a grain of mustard seed" (Matt. 17:20). Because Jesus also said that a grain of mustard "is smaller than all the seeds of the earth" (Mark 4:31), many pastors, seeking to be kind, have declared, "See folks, we all have that much faith!" But, such kindness is not consistent with Christ's message, for He combined this admonition for mountain-moving faith with a rebuke for lack of faith (Matt. 17:20).
What does the mustard seed do? It "grows up and becomes greater than all herbs" (Mark 4:32). Likewise, our mustard seed faith must be a faith that keeps growing, achieving an impressive size and strength (Mark 4:32).
"Be a servant": The disciples asked Jesus "increase our faith" (Luke 17:5). His response was to tell them about a servant who, though tired from a hard day's work, put service of the Master ahead of tending to his own comfort. Service comes before comfort.
"Believe you have received": Jesus said, "When you pray, believe you have received, and you shall" (Mark 11:23-24). In a shallow sense, this is poor English, to believe you have received when you haven't. In reality, it's a triumph of the eyes of faith over the physical eyes we trust so much.
"The faith of a righteous man": "The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much" (James 5:16). Many pastors, mistaking kindness for truth, have declared to their congregation, "You are all righteous in Christ; therefore, you have all the faith you need!" And the congregation leaves content with little faith. If any believer would have been sufficient to demonstrate the "faith of a righteous man," why did James have to reach way back to Elijah in the Old Testament for an adequate example?
"The difference between the sense world and the spiritual": Jesus was going to the house of a man's sick daughter when his servant came and said, "Don't bother the Teacher, she is dead" (Luke 8:49). Jesus responded to the father, "Do not be afraid, only believe…" What did Jesus say that? Because, what that father decided in his head, would determine what reality he returned to; a dead or living daughter. Jesus could not decide the issue. Only that man, by his faith, could determine what reality he would face. So too, our situation does not necessary determine our reality, our faith can.
"Be a quick learner": Jesus walked on the water, and the disciples were amazed, because "they had not understood about the loaves" (Mark 6:52). What does "loaves and fish" faith have to do with "water walking" faith? As active, quick learning believers, we must make this connection between apparently unrelated miracles, and many more besides. Don't wait until you see God do just exactly the kind of miracle you need before you can believe He can and will do it.
"Ask for great things": Elijah performed many great miracles, yet his student, Elisha asked, "Please let a double portion of your spirit be upon me" (II Kings 2:9). Did Elisha ask for too much? God did not think so.
"God is sovereign": The Holy Spirit distributes gifts "to each one individually as He wills" (I Cor. 12:11). No matter how much we persist in our faith, we must recognize that God has the ultimate power to say "yes" or "no." We cannot make God our errand boy; Yet at the same time, we should not make His sovereignty an excuse not to persist. This is a delicate balance, and by no means easy. But, "God will reward those who diligently seek Him" (Heb. 11:6).
"Praying rightly": "You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures" (James 4:3). God does not want us to be lustful. However, many people quote this verse to justify not asking for anything! Yet, this same author claims that God "gives to all liberally and does not reproach" (James 1:5). Certainly, we must be able to find a compromise between being lustful and being prayerless!
"Understanding God's purpose": Believers often feel that their prayers are a bother to God, or reveal their own selfishness. When asked if a man was born blind because of his partents' sin or his pre-birth sin, Jesus replied, "Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him" (John 9:3). God answers prayer that He may have a testimony on the earth. Helping Him have a testimony with our prayers of faith is consistent with His greatest desires.
"Not all of Paul's prayers were answered": Paul left Trophimus sick in Miletus (II Tim.4:20). This is often used to show that healing is not always God's will. We don't have to use examples from Paul's life to demonstrate lack of healing, we can use Jesus Himself (Jesus did not heal many in Nazareth because of their lack of faith). We see that unanswered prayer is blamed on the one in need, not the intercessor.
"Even Paul recommended medicine": Paul suggested that Timothy "no longer drink only water, but use a little wine for your stomach's sake and your frequent infirmities (I Tim.5:23). This has been used to justify medicine and to justify alcohol abuse, even though both are almost universally rejected throughout Scripture ("farmikea", the root word for pharmacy, is the New Testament word for sorcery and drunkenness is condemned in 99 out of 100 Bible references). Also, there is no separate word in Greek for "grape juice" or "alcoholic wine," so we should not always assume "wine" in the New Testament means alcohol.
In New Testament times, a concentrated grape syrup was laboriously boiled down to the point that it didn't need refrigeration. Juice made from this was often extolled in extraBiblical writings as being preferred to alcoholic wine. So, Paul might just as well have been suggesting that Timothy get a little fruit in his diet. Perhaps this seems "too practical." I once knew a Christian who did not bother seeking food nor shelter in the minus-40-degree winters of Idaho, feeling God would provide all. I offered him dinner, and then quoted Paul's statement not to refuse the food set before him. Was I being too practical, trying to offset his extreme spiritualization?
If you would like more information on this topic, see David Wilkerson's book, Sipping Saints.