Stewardship Isle

by Timothy D. Henze 

with the ideas and assistance 

of the 

1999 Scobey UMC Stewardship Committee

Cast

Narrator

Skipper Jonah T. Whale

First Mate Gilgamesh

Thurston (Thursty)E. Forbucks (the millionaire)

Lovey U. Forbucks (the millionaire’s wife)

Ginger Spruce (former Dirty Shame Bell and Spruce Girl)

Ima Strongheart (works as a checkout girl at Tande’s Grocery)

Karl Sagaard (famous scientist and Norwegian historian)

Synopsis

What started out as an evening pleasure cruise on the Poplar River turns into a nightmare as the SS Methodist Church is caught in a winter squall. The crew and passengers find themselves lying on the sandy beach of previously uncharted tropical sand bar, the likes of which is unheard of in North Eastern Montana.

Upon waking up from unconsciousness on the beach the passengers and crew look and see the smashed hull of the SS Methodist Church and begin to wonder how they were going to get home. They hear a KCGM radio broadcast that declares the passengers and crew lost with little hope of rescue.

Through a typical Giligan like slip of the tongue Gilgamesh reveals that he had not realigned the rudder mechanism before setting sail since it was bumped out of alignment when the rudder struck a rock on their previous voyage just south of Ken Lee’s place. Through a line of cause and effect all passengers and crew realize that they contributed to their situation by putting their own needs before the care and maintenance of the boat. It becomes clear that the only way that they will ever get off the sandbar and be rescued is if they all participate and share in the responsibilities of survival and rescue and they begin to get to work

The narrator then explains why the Church came to be symbolized by a boat. We all have to do our part and all parts are important to make it smooth sailing for 1999.

Narrator: Hey! You there! You see these folks lying on the sand here? What started out as a three hour pleasure cruise on the scenic Poplar River in North Eastern Montana aboard the flagship of Stewardship Cruise Lines, the SS Methodist Church has turned into a nightmare for these folks, but it was a tragedy that could have been, should have been avoided. They have washed up upon an uncharted tropical sand bar, the likes of which is unheard of in North Eastern Montana. . Let’s pay close attention to their story shall we?

Skipper: Gilgamesh! Gilgamesh little buddy are you okay?

Gilgamesh: I’m over here Skipper. I’m okay Skipper, but look at the boat.

Thursty: Lovey, where are you my dear sweet Lovey

Lovey: Over here Thursty

Thursty: O Sweetums, even washed ashore you look as radiant as ever. Where’s our money Dear?

                Ginger: I didn’t think my performance deserved that kind of heckling

Professor: I think I left my medulla oblongata on that rock over there

Ima: I have a feeling I’m gonna be late for work. Skipper how are we going to get home?

Professor: Look people there’s the radio . . .

Radio voice: The Scobey Ambulance crew has given up any hope trying to find survivors of the SS Methodist Church reported missing after that freak winter squall on the Poplar River last night. The boat was due back yesterday evening and there has been no contact with the ship since before 7pm. Scobey Ambulance volunteers say that no one could survive the icy winter waters for very long. The SS Methodist Church, the flagship of Stewardship Cruise Lines set out yesterday for a three hour pleasure cruise down the Poplar River. It’s captain Jonah T. Whale is considered to be an old salt in these waters, the first mate an accomplished sailor, Gilgamesh Pilesar, a Babylonian exchange student, here in the US learning river navigation. The passengers included Wealthy Scobey socialite Thurston E. Forbucks and his wife Lovey U. Forbucks, Ima Strongheart who works at Tande’s Grocery and famous pop singer and Dirty Shame Bell Ginger Spruce formerly of the Spruce Girls. Also on board was famous scientist and Norwegian historian Professor Karl Sagaard.

Skipper: Look at the poor old girl (looking at the ship) she’s in ruins. We’ll never be able to salvage anything from her we can use to sail home.

Gilgamesh: Well then, I guess I no longer have to worry about fixing that problem with the rudder you told me to fix before we left, huh Skipper?

Skipper: (hits Gilgamesh with his skippers hat) Gilgamesh!! You didn’t fix the rudder before we left. That was why I was having trouble steering in the storm. Our being stranded here is your fault Gilgamesh!

Gilgamesh: I was about to do it but, Mr. Forbucks offered me a hundred dollars to help him with his luggage

Skipper: Mr. Forbucks don’t you know enough to let my crew alone to do their job

Thursty: Well I wouldn’t have needed his help if I hadn’t stabbed my leg on this screw that was sticking out (holds up screw) from some part of the boat. I got so made I just ripped it right out so I could show you, why I ought to sue.

Skipper: That screw Mr. Forbucks (covering his face with his hands and shaking his head) is what keeps the compass aligned properly. No wonder I couldn’t get a proper heading in the storm.

Thursty: Well how was I to know what it was for. Lovey, why did you bring those extra suitcases anyway? You know that two suitcases of money is all we need for a three hour journey.

Lovey: Thursty dear, when I saw that dazzling Ginger Spruce standing there playing with the radio, I knew that I couldn’t wear the same dress getting off the boat as I did getting on. There might be photographers present and I would look rather uncouth and simple.

Thursty: There there now my sweet Lovey, its okay. Of course that was necessary.

Professor: (turning to Ginger) Playing with the radio?

Ginger: Well the Williston station was broadcasting a taped performance of mine and I just had to hear how well I performed. I love to hear the applause a second time.

Skipper: That explains why we got no weather warnings about the storm

Ginger: Well don’t blame me for being adored as far away as Williston. What about you Professor you were messing with that satellite thingy?

Skipper: (covers face with hands and shakes head)Professor! No!

Professor: The only reason I came aboard this cruise was because it would pass the perfect latitude and longitudinal position for me to observe my experiment with the Hubble Telescope. But just before we embarked I realized that I had left my satellite position finder in my hotel and I had no time to run back and get it, so I just altered the Global Positioning System receiver a little so I could locate the Hubble Telescope in the sky and carry on my experiment. I thought certainly the other systems like the compass and the radio would prevent any need for the G.P.S. Who ever heard of needing Global Positioning Satellites to find your way down the Poplar River. These experiments were a once in a lifetime shot. I couldn’t let my life’s work go down the drain so easily.

Ima: Well its clear enough that we are all responsible in someway for this predicament, but blaming each other isn’t going to help us get home. As everyone was needed to get us into this mess, everyone is going to be needed to get us out of this mess. Survival and eventually getting off this sandbar is going to depend on everyone and their unique gifts and talents.

Thursty: How do you mean my dear?

Ima: We need to rely on Skipper and Gilgamesh’s boating, sailing, and navigation experience, we need to rely on the Forbucks wealth and notoriety to keep people looking for us. Ginger, in addition to little ways you can help, we need your skills of celebrity and entertainment to keep our spirits up so that we don’t ever give up hope. Professor you can make, repair or refashion some of the technical equipment to help us survive or get rescued, maybe some satellite signal beacon. And well me, I know all about food working in a grocery store so I will find edible plants and animals to prepare tasty meals to nourish us for the work of survival.

Everyone: Great lets work together and get on it now!

Gilgamesh: Hey, look everybody, I found an old pop bottle. Let’s send a message asking for help in this bottle.

Skipper: Thats a great idea, Little Buddy! Maybe somebody out there will find it and come rescue us.

Thursty: Let’s put a fifty in there too, just for incentive.

Narrator: Well it looks like they might be okay after all. It’s no coincidence that our story is about a boat. You see the church for a long time has been symbolized by a boat. "An old document dating back to about the third century, gives this instruction on how to build a church: "Let the building be oblong, toward the east, like a ship." To this day we refer to the main part of the church as the nave, from the Latin navis, meaning a ship."

It starts with Noah’s Ark. A group of people were saved by water, or its characteristic of buoyancy, by floating on top of it. Yes they were saved from the flood, but they were also saved by the flood. In 1 Peter the apostle makes the comparison with baptism. As Noah and his family were saved by water, so we the people of the church are saved by water in baptism symbolizing our life with Christ. In the Church we sail amid the tempestuous waters of the world, not ravaged by it, but floating on top of it. "As a ship sails troubled seas, so the church, amid the waves and winds of adversity, is on its heavenward voyage. Jesus Christ the captain of our salvation is in charge." But this is no pleasure voyage, we the members of the church are its crew. Whether it be trimming the sails, steering the rudder or swabbing the deck every job is crucial for the survival of the ship and successfully carrying out its mission and completing its voyage. So it is up to us its crew, no one can do it alone. They say that everyone one the crew of a windjammer sings, it lets people know they are in sync. Whether your gift be time given to lead a Bible study or time spent learning in a Bible study so to best understand your place in our voyage, whether it be financial giving, or putting our own needs aside to serve the needs of others, all gifts, big or small are needed to get Scobey United Methodist Church on track to "Smooth Sailing" in 1999.

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